Thursday, September 11, 2014

Set Him Free!

I really find the octopus very fascinating and beautiful and today I am remembering him on a rather solemn note. 

I cannot get over the fact that we actually feel in our brains and not our hearts! It is there, I sense it in my being! Deep there... piercing, squeezing, working! Right there in the centre of my whole body... in where it beats... 
I had a rather strange experience yesterday... I felt so strange in a place where I once so belonged... I felt I will suffocate if I stay one more minute there... I thought God please deliver my soul from all this...  and I heard my mind repeating the line from the Psalm... Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler.
There was a lot of gossip in the other room... there was a lot of it! I wanted to leave but I was unmotorised waiting for my mother to come... There was a lot of gossip and I thought oh! this is so wrong... but I felt helpless... I wanted to vindicate the people but at the same time I did not want to go in there and be part of it all...
I felt like my heart what trapped by the long numerous pods of an octopus... And my mind racing and suddenly out of the very blue I was afraid. I really cannot explain but I felt a weird kind of fear... I almost cried (okay maybe I did have a tear or two). I had no reason to be scared but there my heart was beating as if I was chosen to give a speech... (you surely are thinking that I am crazy now... and maybe I am...). I prayed a lot and it is beautiful how God works. I felt peaceful. I went in, said goodbye and decided to walk a bit out till my ride arrives... And when I was walking I was thinking about gossip and how heavy it is... How one word can destroy a family. How one story can damage a relationship. I felt remorse for every time I fell in that trap, every single time I let this octopus get hold of me and I decided to set him free, take him out of my life forever!

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