Dear Frail Fragile Heart

Warning: Different style today. My brain is like a cow. It eats grass ideas (cheap, unwanted and largely available) and  ruminates them endlessly. This post is a rumination.

Dear frail fragile heart,

I want you to take courage to believe and to know that the words that you have been repeating are truer than true.  I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have loved you with an everlasting love. He loves you with an everlasting love. There is no tense to His love. He is the I AM. The I AM yours, truly yours. The only true truly yours you will every know. The only signature that will never fade. The only ring that will never break. The only thought that will never fade. The only promise that will be forever kept. The only yoke that is easy to bear. The only wish that is worth the breath.

William Shakespeare said that "love comforteth like sunshine". Dear heart, there is nothing to compare to His love. Comfort and joy immerse you as you bathe in the rays of the Bright Morning Star. His face shines on you and you will never go dull ever again as long as He is your gaze. His Spirit comforteth! The comforter.

I know you have been to pieces, I know you have been pierced but He took that wound upon his very own heart. And you are healed. Let His fire light every broken piece that does not fit and let His hands assemble the rest! Believe this, little one, believe that you have been restored and your beauty has been redeemed. Believe that in faith. in faithfulness to the only Faithful.

You have heard that His chastisement is for a day and that His mercies are new every morning. Take it upon you! Let it transform you. Wash yourself under this abundant river flow, the river Mercy of God.

I dare you to take a chance again. I dare you to be open to where His winds will take you. I dare you to rise with the Risen one. I dare you to trust the steps out of the tomb. 

So many things I want to tell you still... But words run away when they see me coming!! 

My dear one, I have felt your whispers, your cries, your longings, your joys, your passions and I took them to the One that my soul trusts. I beg you to trust Him. I beg you to rise again and shine again, for His glory has come! He comes in glory!!

His truly. Truly His.

Loquats! Look Out!

Yesterday I was eating some very very delicious loquats, the orange small fruit that has about two  big brown seeds inside. Very sweet and fresh, very springy fruit! (nope! I was not smart enough to know the name by myself...thank you nice mate for providing the name.) So I was eating these yummy ones (image) over the bin (because using a bib (thanks mate 2 for that word) in public at that age is a little bit disgraceful) and the seeds were making a very funny noise as they fall in the bin and they got me very interested in their nature and look and feel and all of their being... They are so slimy and slippery ,very hard as well, perfect touch, sweet size, just so cool...they sort of make anyone chuckle just by seeing them. And because my mind associates the obvious, I started thinking about all seeds. I was thinking how funny it is that the huge watermelon has these tiny tiny seeds and the avocado that is way less than quarter its size has this big huge one in the middle... and then all sort of ideas about all sorts of seeds started to flow in to the point that my mind was so blank, just imagining all these seeds dancing around and I started wondering about them. I mean it is just very curious all these shapes and sizes and colours and material! I felt so little, so surpassed. Every single one has a potential to bear life. wow. A realization that was really beyond me. God trusted us with life in our hands at every single meal! And then thinking that we were somehow seeds too, planted in the womb of our mothers, we were in the hand of the Creator who chose that we, the very seed of our being, should come to life... That is among millions of other seeds that could have been in mum and dad, he picked these very ones... And this was just too beautiful, too eye opening, too breathtakingly shocking to me... 

Thinking about these loquats and about this very seed that shouted to me "hey look out!" and made me start thinking, brining life to my idle brain... I thought about all these chances I have to bring unexpected life around me, all these times by just being, we bloom, all these times when we just let God pick... It's all so random and chaotic but it just did not leave me in peace until I put it out, so there we go... a piece of nonsense hoping to be a seed for something sweeter!

Delicacy...(A Ramble)

It is spring! It is life! It is as if everything is smiling! It is calm! It is just so lovely! April's showers are so sweet, so gentle! The sun is splendid! I feel as if I am a paper and the rays just write on me tenderly words of comfort and beauty (in (big) hopes that I might become a little bit less pale!! please!). And in the afternoons I become dreamy! I was sitting today and I remembered the smell of orange blossom, of hyacinths, of all the nice scents ever offered by flowers... And I remembered nice dresses (the kind that twirls!), and pastel colours, and fruits, and sweet music, and beautiful people and wonderful friends and I just want to stay there... but then I remembered as well that I have a huge task I need to finish that is sort of making my heart sweat! (I do not think I was made for it, but for the sake of the trust that was put in me, I will try my very very best, from all my will and heart and power! (I actually called the Holy Spirit for aid... dramatic call! But at least I can count on Him!!) anyway!) 

And I was hungry! For something salty! (Even though I ate a delicious cheese croissant that a pretty lady got me today with a whole wonderful breakfast package, delivered with so much care and love... but I think sometimes my body thinks he's a dragon... I love dragons so that is okay from time to time!) 

And then salt came to my mind... The cliché verse... You are the salt of the earth! (OH! maybe I should lick my arm... okay no! That was not too neat... And did I do it or not that is the question!!) And I though wow! I do want something salty but not too much... I would not be able to take in something that has been salted more than the normal amount of salt... And I think that is one delicate issue! How much salt do I use! I sure do not want to spoil the dish! 

Being called to be salt of the earth is pretty clear that we are to be effective, efficient, seasoning, changing for the better, the best... But I think we are as well called to be delicate. Somehow subtle. To know when it is too much, when to stop pouring out on others. We are called to know when to stop before spoiling the dish, the day, the task and just remember, we are salt, we are not the cook and let Him take care of how much we give and take... 

And I am sitting here thinking of how much I am the opposite of delicate and how much work I need... Way too far from being subtle or pastel... way too far... but at least now I am aware and will take my own advice and let Him take care! (meanwhile I hope I don't spoil too many plates! And If I ever was too much on you, please forgive me! =) and I know there are a (not so) few damages..). end of ramble.

French Pressed!

Because French is one strong accent I have in my English pronunciation (sadly enough!! I could never bring myself to say the word cling without making a fool out of myself... let alone any "i")... Because every invention stands in the shadow of the printing press... And mostly... Because coffee is a small (big) love of mine... I decided to write about a silly (I should be aware by now that all my thoughts are silly) thought I got on coffee and French press.

Instructions: 

1- Get "French press" ground coffee (and a French press carafe, for that matter)

2- Boil water

3- Add ground coffee to the French press carafe 

4- Add water and stir

5- WAIT for four (or more, to taste, the longer the stronger) minutes and then PUSH the plunger down

6- Pour and DRINK =)

I love to wait (in the specific sense of quiet waiting) . I have always appreciated the time we have to wait. Deep satisfaction comes to me while I sit in a waiting room. It does me something  that very few other situations in life do. I feel thoughts are freer then, things are different, slower in a perfect sense... And I am convinced that many, many have mediated, thought of and discovered the beauty of waiting. 
The loveliness of the French press is that the brew is just so authentic! The time coffee sits in the water waiting gives it a chance to flourish and gives it an aroma that just transports anyone to a wonderful world (granted that they like coffee and thinking). But I think the secret of the French press is not only in the waiting, but in the press, the push (captain obvious). Push it real hard to get all the ground coffee to the bottom so the drink is pure and smooth. It is may be the most fulfilling pressing you can ever do. But when it comes to pressing after waiting in life... we do not really expect it and we do not probably want it. I have waited so long, so patiently... for what? to be pressed? Well yeah... I think our life has this secret too. It needs to be pressed... And it will get out purer, lovelier, fresher... Sin and all the unwanted ground coffee will be left in the bottom...

And while I was writing, the verse from 2 Corinthians 4:8 came to my mind... We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.

Yes I will wait, and yes I will feel that I am finally getting somewhere, just to feel the press, the push (ouch!). But I will not be crushed. For I know for whom I am waiting... Waiting upon the Lord... And I know the hand that will/is sustain/ing me! His right hand upholds me!

My (stolen) Kaleidoscope!

A while ago a beautiful person gave a small toy kaleidoscope. Fascinating. I used to have it with me all the time and whenever I met a little girl or boy (specially if they seem to be bored in a world of grown ups) I'd offer them a look through it... Magic! They are just struck by what they see and they become so excited!! Not that it affects me differently! It just amazes me! (probably same mental age!) 

Everything in it  seem to twirl and blend and just becomes something else. Something of a mysterious beauty. Reality (or what I think reality is) changes. Suddenly. Shapes do not make sense any more.  As if something has been hidden in this stillness and needed this little tool to emerge, to dance! A very sophisticated choreography! An explosion of colours! Beautiful. And it transports me into another dimension. And for a while, I am in this cloud, as if walking slightly off the ground...

It made me wonder. Where was all this without that kaleidoscope? The substance did not change... My vision changed... The way I see it did... I got this tool and I used it!

Human beings too sometimes may seem static. Until we grab a kaleidoscope and look through it... A kaleidoscope called love. Use with caution though! You might experience something really beyond your imagination... People starting to bloom and open up in ways you never expected... You will see  beauty you never saw before that your might just stop breathing! And the more you manipulate this tool, the more you put your eyes through it, the more magical it becomes till you really get a feeling as if heaven descended... And it did... For there, all is Love since all is God and... God is Love!!

ps. One little dude at church never gave it back. Sad because I was never able to find another one. But I hope it will make him think and discover things!!

Well Done Faithful S---

It was a hard weekend.
My colleague's (who happens to be more than a colleague to me... more of  a saint, an example, an inspiration, a tangible evidence of Christ and much more...) son  is now worshipping the Lord face to face (surely, as sure as my existence) at the mere age of twenty. 
The family. Pure gold. Every single member of this family is shining as pure gold, of a quality far better than gold itself. I can testify of the intensity of the fire that refined them day after day after day! A painful reality. And yet! Habakkuk! They beat you at the realization. They beat you at the yet*. They sing with you O David. They sing along every psalm of praise in the midst of calamity, they sing along every verse of salvation out of the very valley of death. They join you, Paul and Silas. In the prison of agony they raise their voices in worship and praise... and let the world hear of the martyrs who decided to live for Christ when there were little or no reason left to live... A poignant beauty.
Job... He shamed you. He bore his cross way better than you did.
And I stood there and wondered. And his life did not seem to have stopped. It did not. He breathed hope into my heart. A love for the Lord of life translated into a love of living for Him...And I repent. 
Precious indeed is in the eyes of the Lord the death of his saints. He left gloriously to join the congregation of all those who preceded him, following the steps of the Lover of mankind who did not spare His life for our very own sake... and he gave his life too, in imitation. And I decide. I decide to have the courage to live every single day with heaven on my mind. And I implored him to help me, to remind me. 
It was intense. It is always the case at births. When deep pain melts with lucid beauty. When our hearts overflow. When we know the truth and we know its wound and we know its fruit. When we know the bitterness of the cup and we know the splendour of the resurrection and we drink it. He drank it and ran his race and won the crown. And I persevere. For his sake... For my sake! 
(There is so much more I want to say but I believe only a sip is needed to know the good wine...)

*Habakkuk 3:17-18

 Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will be joyful in God my Saviour.

The Courage of the Snake

I have always wanted to honour snakes.
I think they are one of the most mysterious and amazing creatures. They somehow portray so much charm. They mesmerise, they fascinate.
I do understand why some find them scary or disgusting, but I think this is sad and a biased opinion, something of a misjudgement. I mean they can be dangerous but so is the lion... Why him it's fine and the serpent no? We should give them a chance to amaze us. And trust me they do! They have the very essence of amazing in them! I can go on for ever on how lovely and beautiful they are but I won't creep you out (though I have a feeling you already consider me a bit out of mind, level very freaky).
But there is just one thing on my heart that I want to honour the snake for! The courage! The courage to assume the role of the devil and the tempter in the story of Genesis. The courage to sacrifice and bear the consequences for millenniums to come. One creature had the guts to step out and say, "ME" to the call of duty, the call to be a symbol and to teach (and help understand) generations (and I mean GENERATIONS) to come! One creature was present as a benevolent martyr of his very own image and reputation... One creature with the courage to be ready, with the courage of a hero, not looking at what people will think of them but be this tool at any cost in the hand of the Great Storyteller... And if you wonder, I am sure it hurts. It hurts as much as crawling on the roughness of this earth... And yet they do it and yet they persevere...